…recently it came into my mind, that the depiction of Dwarves (the race) in almost any RPG is stupid, absurd, totaly overdone or any combination of this. I love dwarves – I wouldn’t play them but I like their positive attributes – most of the time they are considered to be hearty, trustworthy, close-lipped, strong and honest guys with a taste for good meat and beer. I’m sure there are more positive attributes, but for now that’s all I would think of in a dwarf. On the bad side they are small, slow, dirty (well at least very very hairy), a little bit uncultivated, greedy, reclusive and xenophobic to many races (greenskins, elves …). There are many more bad attributes to be found as well. It’s ok, this fantasy race has to stand out from humans and they can only do so by being described as two-dimensional over-exaggerated versions of a wild mix of human stereotypes.
A different thing about how dwarves are described is how they function in their respective fantasy settings. There are quite some strange things about dwarves that don’t make sense at all and one must wonder how they can survive or do the things they do. Here are some thoughts on the physiology and psychology of dwarves.
Female dwarves
In quite many settings female dwarves almost look like male dwarves – to the extent that any non-dwarf might not recognize it when encountering a female dwarf. It is often said that female dwarves are very very rare (almost extinct) or competely lost somwhere in history…which makes you wonder how baby dwarves are born… Some backgrounds explain that dwarves are created in a magical way from earth, stone or other substances – so there is no need for female dwarves. The question the is – where is the need for male dwarves? In such settings dwarves should be androgynous creatures with no visible sexual organs or attributes. Long facial hair IS considered to be a typical male attribute, though. Well well, even if we do away with the reproduction problems, how can a race survive with almost no females? Are dwarves considered a dying race in those settings? No, every mountain range has more tunnels than a Swiss cheese, dwarves are everywhere, their numbers are big enough, that they can help out when the human race is on the verge of distinction and they run smithies and shops in every larger town or city.
Physique
Dwarves are small, but only in height. They weigh more than a normal human (relatively), have a sturdy and rugged build and are supposed to be very strong or at least enduring. Due to their short height, they are considered to be slow runners, which makes sense. Their thick and too short limbs and fingers make them rather clumsy. These descriptions can be found almost everywhere. If you imagine a humanoid of let’s say 1.00m body height and a weight of about 70kg or more, you either have an obese ball of hair in front of you or a muscular but still bulky dwarf. The physique of his limbs would no longer support normal moves a humanoid being can do. Dwarves are said to be excellent smiths, not only of broadaxes, but of the finesz jewelry even humans can’t produce. Their fingers are probably 4-5cm long and 2-3cm thick, I wonder how they can even hold a ring or a slender necklace without some sort of magic device.
With their stout legs they could do nothing else than waddle around like a penguin, they wouldn’t run slower than humans, they would shamble at a very slow rate of speed. Wearing thick armour (which is quite common for dwarves) would make them almost immobile.
Any dwarf army would become a simple target for greenskin troops – they could easily stay at missile range all the time, the dwarves would never have a chance to catch up, surround them or do any kind of strategic move. After enough missiles, stones, spears, fire bombs and dirt balls, even the dwarf tanks will die one by one. In the open field dwarves are dead.
Carrying a broad axe would probably be possible but swinging it precisely and with great force would become almost impossible. And, a dwarf swinging a broadaxe would never be able to hit a human in the head by any means, unless that human was kneeling, lying prone or inviting him to do so. Dwarves using crossbows is another thing that makes me chuckle. I wonder how they should ever handle thin bolts and strings. Not talking about a dwarf climbing up a free hanging rope (in full armour, for sure!), riding (ok, they hate riding, they would never do this), swimming (or do dwarves drown like a stone if they ever dare to touch water?). I wonder how they could reach the most distant mountains on other continents or islands, without using ships, boats or riding animals.
Dwarves can carry much more load than humans due to their “magical” build. In some games, they can carry four times of the load humans may carry. That means, if a human was carrying full plate armour and weapons (at least 25kg weight in total), a dwarf can carry the same armour and stuff and 75kg of load on top of that! Just imagine a dwarf in full armour waddling around with a huge pile of sacks, boxes and stuff on his shoulders like an ant – stuff weighing more than a modern refrigerator and still being able to fight without any handicaps…
Unless the setting doesn’t explaing all of this with “magic” or the will of the gods…it becomes rather unattractive to play a dwarf. In combat, even a Hobbit would be more dangerous, as he would be more agile, quicker and harder to hit. Attacking a dwarf is like hitting a stone – you can’t miss and due to his armour he can take some damage. Dwarves are often said to withstand more damage or more pain than other races. If that is due to their physique (whatever physique that could be) or to their iron will is unknown. Well known is, that dwarves do have the same vital and fragile organs that all humanoid races have. They have not more tissue or muscles nor do they have an ultra-hard skin that can withstand impact better than a steel armour could. They have less blood in their bodies than humans and a rush of bleeding would down them even faster than a larger opponent. I am no physician or scientist, but my impression is, that almost any aspect of their physique is interpreted in the wrong way, in fantasy games the consequences of their specific bodies are not the ones they would suffer from in our world. That’s basically ok for fantasy settings, but it’s not ok if similar or contrary beings have diverging attributes due to their physique.
I hope I didn’t offend any dwarf players or “fanatics” (fans). The idea was to make you think about it…if you want. And probably make some small adjustments – dwarves are still cool if they can carry fullplate armour and an axe, but not much more. If you want them in your group when they move at half of your rate as a maximum, is your personal decision.





Es ist soweit! Das Midgard Fantasy-Brettspiel wird ab dem 18. Oktober 2007 auf der SPIEL 07 in Essen in den Handel kommen.